“The thing about goals is that living without them is a lot more fun, in the short run. It seems to me, though, that the people who get things done, who lead, who grow and who make an impact… those people have goals.” —Seth Godin
I have a personal story for you that I hope will encourage or inspire you. I have always been a crazy colour coded organized planner type girl, you may have gotten that impression already. And Sacha and I from the day (okay, the month) we got married, we started… or rather I enforcedmonthly meetings, which we affectionately called for lack of a better name, “Goal Meetings.”
It started out as financial goals. Sacha had student loans, I had car debt, and then there was the wedding and honeymoon to pay for. While listening to the Dave Ramsey Show on satellite radio together and being challenged and encouraged, we literally saved everything we could those first few months together to become debt free by the end of the year! Woohoo!
And I became HOOKed on goal making!
You may be thinking, “that’s great, Ashley, why are you telling me this.” Because I have a passion to make relationships better! And this one thing has built an amazing base for our relationship and opened up communication that is really hard and deep, but so worthwhile, especially if you can love each other onto the same page. 😉
“When you and your spouse agree on spending, you’ve agreed on dreams, fears, goals, and priorities.” Dave Ramsey
One of the top areas of contention between couples is money. This is one topic where it doesn’t work to agree to disagree; both have to make the decision to save or to spend or you will constantly be undercutting your SO. When Sach and I are on the same page and burning through our goals together, we also feel so much closer and connected. A power team!
Goal Meetings have grown since we got married in 2010. We now include 5 categories and talk about short and long term goals in each area of our lives.
- Fitness goals because we can no longer sustain a fast food diet with office jobs.
- Spiritual & personal growth goals.
- Family goals.
- Social goals: We’re both so introverted, we’d never see people if we didn’t make it a goal to invest into the lives of other people.
- And of course, financial and career goals.
I know goal setting with your SO doesn’t sound very sexy, and talking about financial goals can be daunting or culturally taboo. But I would encourage you to at least try another category if money is a sensitive subject and ease into it later. Remember the goal (pun ahahaha) is to grow closer, communicate more deeply, and become a power team when it comes to achieving your couples’ goals.
So, how did I enforce/get Sacha to start doing Goal Meetings? Well, let’s just say I no longer have to do them naked to keep his attention. Almost 10 years later, it’s something he asks about and we both look forward to! Goal Meetings can be sexy all on their own, promise.
Do you already make goals together with your SO? What is your favourite category to discuss goals in?